GENDER

RUFFLES & RIBBNS GIRLS' HOME refers to "Little Girls (M or F)". You may wonder how such can be. Such persons fall into the category of "transgender" (TG) or "bi-gender" (2G). The difference is that the 2G has both masuline and feminine personality traits, These traits occur in near equal and certainly psychologically functional stremgth either kept separate (better for sanity's sake) or blended, and is perfectly happy with this state of affairs whereas the TG may feel "trapped in the wrong body". My own belief is that the body you got is the right one becuase the external world sets the parameters by which such decisions are made: Fi you told me in all seriousness that you are a T-Rex "trapped in the worng body", what would you be considered? Well, just so. It is called "denial" and to go down that road is to twist your mind into a pretzel. Accept what you are and work from there. Also there are many things that could be considered "gender-free" or "androgynous" (shared by both genders) or some other mixed-gender acceptable. preceeds the psychological one and therefore takes precedence becuase gender is psychological and not physiological.

How did I come to this conclusion? In my pursuit of an advanced degree in psychology, I found that my teachers were totally unable to answer the simplest of boy-girl questions like "pink is for girls'. This meant it was my job to figure it out and this is what I came to and how. It must be said that male and female brains are a bit different but just what this means is unknown at this time. So as far as gender goes. one theory is as good as another. AS long as you respect the fact that you have a primary gender that is pointed to by your physical structure and come to terms with that, there is no reason not to enjoy playing the ohter side of the street. In fact, that respect may help you enjoy more what you are doing since you are not trying to buck the real world you willl not have that on your mind to either cloud the issue or create unwanted, subconscious feelings. Also it is unseemly for a person to adopt the ways of the other gender without first having mastered (or mistressed) the ways of his or her own. This only leads to the effeminate, unmanly male and the butch, unladylike female, both of which are a distortion of the human soul. As an aside, the same goes for the "Adult Baby" who, not having matured, is not doing the gig for its own sake but to excercize some kind of aganda, psychodrama, temper tantrum or just plain unwillingness to progress to the next level. As I have been known to say: You must grow up before you can grow down.

When I took Latin in the 8th grade, I learned that Latin, and later, Italian, French, Portuguese and Spanish words had a property called "gender" which my Latin teacher said "...does not mean boy and girl words, but masculine and feminine...". This did not make full sense but did go along with other things such as "pink for girls', dresses are for girls, girls play with dolls (which makes good sense since most have babies when they grow up and need to know well how to take care of them) and other differences. Did you know that at one time pink was for boys? Blue is a "cool" color and was considered more appropriate for girls until the middle 1930's. But I also knew that some boys liked to experiment with "girl" things or found them practical in some way but they were still boys.

So I came to a conclusion: Gender is a pasychological, that means learned and behavioral variable. that points to, but is not tied to, or the same as, the physical sex of the person. This means that the two sexes, as such, are not equal but complementary since equality means interchangeable. If they were equal then there would be no point to making the distinction (this does not make one or the other better in any way, just different nor does it in any way make the holder of one of the two sets of traits that comprise this category superior or inferior; it takes two to tango-and to tangle). Therefore, it seems to me that one need not be female to enjoy doing girl things and that one can have a "girl part" in him to which his feminine traits point. Gender acts as a set of characteristics by which a person chooses those traits of the opposite sex that are not sex-innate, but behavioral/psychological that indicalte that the person is comfortable with his/herself as that kind of person. Many GG's are disdainful of their childhood dolls because to do otherise marks them as childish and locked into "sex stereotype". On the other hand, Adult Little Girls, usually maile, exhibit an attachment to their doll(s) to the point of having feelings for the specific doll itself as well as having an affinity to dolls as part of being a Little Girl.

I am a true feminist. By that I mean, I enjoy the femininee things: I like the feel of my golden hair caressing my cheek. the sound of my name and especially anything to do with tiaras: The splendor of color, the delicate shapes, the way the band caresses my hair I prefer full-circle tiara bands to the comb or half-band and come or the kind that must be pinned in place. I like the gentle weight of the tiara, reassuring me of her presence and nearness as well as her appearnce. I love the feeling of wearing a full skirt with a crinoline, how it rubs lightly on my thigh and the hem kisses my knee. I do not like petticoats as they tend to feel smothery. These are thangs that are in fact good and should be valued, I like to feel attractive as a girl.

But you ask me "why is gender, which is not innate or deterministic good? since it is not an automatic and therefore absolutely reliable, pointer. My answer is becuase there are no automatic or absolutely reliable pointers. Please note that "unisex" has failed. How come this is true? Becuase there is no such thing as innate knowledge. Therefore, a set of signs and guidposts are needed in the larger world and they must be learnable and learned rather than believed innate (if they were innate then innate knowledge would exist and they would be unnecessary and unisex would still fail but its absurdity would be more self-evident). But, these are only signs and guidposts, not the territory to which they point and can be enjoyed, either participatorily or merely observationally for their own sake.

the point is that they are learned and can be learned to be enjoyed both by thenselves and as part of a sub-personality by either boys or girls.